Whakapūmau & Whakatō Whetū: Pounamu for 21st, Engagement & Marriage
Celebrating life's milestones
Whakatō Whetū! To plant stars is an expression of aspiration as young adults step fully into their mana.
"The stars are the eyes of the ancestors, watching and guiding. To plant stars is to cultivate their enduring presence."
— The Woven Universe: Selected Writings of Rev. Māori Marsden
At the 21st birthday, in the celebration of engagement, or at the threshold of marriage, these are the moments when identity crystallises and whānau bonds deepen.
These milestones mark the transition from individual potential to whakapūmau - enduring commitment.
In te ao Māori, such occasions call for gifting taonga that embody both personal strength and eternal unity, including pounamu, the living stone of Aotearoa.
21st Birthday: Whakatō Whetū (Planting Stars)
The 'coming of age' or 21st birthday is a celestial celebration in many cultures. In Māoritanga, it signifies:
- Rangatiratanga (Self-Determination): Full adulthood, embracing responsibility for one’s path.
- Whakapapa in Action: Honouring tūpuna (ancestors) while defining your place in the whakapapa stream.
- Tūrangawaewae: Standing firmly in one’s "place to stand" - identity affirmed.
The pounamu chosen to mark this milestone speaks of grounded strength and ancestral connection. Some of the pieces you might like to choose from include:
- Toki (Adze): A larger, finely carved toki signifies the strength to shape one’s future, echoing chiefs who wielded ceremonial adzes. Its clean lines reflect clarity of purpose.
- Hei Tiki: Linking the wearer to Tiki, the first human, symbolising self-discovery and ancestral guardianship.
- Koru with Toki Elements: Merging growth (koru) with action (toki), representing the blossoming of adult potential.
The
21st
birthday piece often transitions from a symbol of independence to one of leadership, worn during pivotal life choices, then passed to a child facing their own coming-of-age.
The pounamu gifted at 21 becomes a touchstone, a physical reminder: 'You carry the strength of those who walked before you.'
Engagement & Marriage: Whakapūmau (To Make Fast)
Marriage and engagement are more than unions: they are whakapūmau, the fastening of two lives into one lineage.
Finding the perfect gift for your friends or whānau members to celebrate their engagement or marriage can take you down two paths - one to find practical gifts that help establish a new life together, and the other - something that will last for generations and symbolise the love that this couple have found in each other.
Pounamu here embodies:
- Kotahitanga (Unity): Two whānau weaving together.
- Aroha (Love) as Lifeforce: Manawa (heart) symbolizing shared breath and vitality.
- Permanence: Like pounamu itself, unyielding yet flowing through time.
Suggested Symbols for Eternal Bonds
The designs of our pounamu pieces represent spiritual and emotional ties, and we are happy to help you find the perfect piece as an engagement or wedding gift.
- Pikorua (Twist): The single twist signifies inseparable connection between two people. The double/triple twist deepens this, representing interwoven whānau, past and future generations.
- Manawa (Heart): Carved with undulating lines mimicking a heartbeat, it speaks of aroha as the pulse of whānau and is a symbol of love used around the world. Heart pendants split into complementary halves, forming one when joined is a beautiful option.
- Matching Toki: A pair of toki - symbolising complementary strengths, united in purpose.
- Rings - Pounamu and silver or gold - for engagement and wedding rings
Marriage pounamu accrues layers of meaning: worn on wedding days, at births of tamariki, during life's challenges and celebrations.
As the decades pass, a pikorua pendant gifted at engagement might be placed in a grandchild’s hand with the words: "This held our love. Now it holds yours."
The Circle of Mana
Like named hei tiki of old, these pieces of pounamu absorb the whakapapa of their wearers. A toki worn by a 21-year-old in 2025 may echo in 2125 - its mana amplified across generations.
Moko Pounamu Knowledge Library
